Songs That Are Amazing But Fell Under the Radar.

1. "Who's Gonna Save My Soul" by Gnarls Barkley
2. "FutureSex/LoveSounds" by Justin Timberlake
3. "Set Phasers to Stun" by Taking Back Sunday
4. "Come On Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson
5. "Undead" by Hollywood Undead
6. "Pardon Me" by Incubus
7. "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers
8. "Streetcorner Symphony" by Rob Thomas
9. "You And I Both" by Jason Mraz
10. "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers

The Absurdities of Life.

Life is often quite absurd.
For example. I thought this American society was beyond racism, but apparently it is still very prolific and rampant, especially in larger cities and in the South. I thought we were mature and responsible, and that this American people was accepting and tolerant. But I was wrong, like I usually am.
Also. It's still not fully socially acceptable to be gay or straight in this world. It's a "disease," a "handicap." Only straight people are going to help this world, right? Heterosexuals have the ability to procreate. Heterosexuals are benefiting this world. They're the only ones that matter, right? Wrong. Religion should not determine which people get to live as second-class citizens. And religion should be eliminated entirely from our judicial system.
My opinion? Life is too short to hate, to discriminate. Hate IS a handicap, a disability. It prevents you from seeing all sides, it prevents you from reaching your full potential as a human being.

On My Mind.

1. Mr. Lambert holds the belief that he is ALWAYS right. And when someone proves him wrong (like I did today), he insults you. He makes it look like you got false information to fuck with his head. Mr. Lambert, just because you are approaching 70, does not mean you are a God. It does not mean you know absolutely everything. People make mistakes, and maybe you should hold yourself accountable for that.

2. I am getting $5,000 in federal student aid for the 2010-2011 school year. That's a shit load of money! I can pay for all my tuition! And, I don't even need to work full time! I'm sooo excited! :)

3. I am dead convinced that the Senior Project at EHS is a conspiracy to make all of the students not graduate. There are a LOT of unreasonable expectations we students have to meet, and it is very time consuming, and to top it all off, POINTLESS CRAP. Thanks, Mrs. Goosman. For fucking with the system.

4. I just realized: The only time I ever smile during the day is when I am away from school. It's not that I'm unhappy at school, (well, it could be) it's just that I don't feel emotionally stimulated at school, or around the people I tend to hang out with. AND! I could technically fail my 4th and 5th period classes, and still graduate. I have MORE than enough credits (22 are needed, I have 26). But in order to be a full-time student, I have to have 5 classes. So I'm taking PE with Mr. Teasley, and Office Aide. Boring-ass shit. But hey, it's school.

LAAAME.

Why is it that I always have lame parties?
Yesterday, I had my annual bonfire. And, as it was last year, it sucked. Or, at least I thought so. It was filled with awkward moments and immature people. And someone, that I didn't invite, showed up, and brought several other people that I didn't even know.
I'm not saying it was a disaster, but it could have been better. I do think, however, it got more enjoyable as the night went on.
Luckily, I won't be in Ellensburg next year to host the bonfire. So no more lameness for me. :)
OH! We also set a chair on fire. And some dumbasses decided to stand on it and sit on it while it was on fire. :/

Hmmm.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about Communism lately, and I've always wondered what makes people think it is such a bad thing. The concept seems practical and useful. It doesn't seem oppressive to me at all. It makes sense, everyone is equal, nobody is starving or poor, and everyone has a job. What's the down side to that? AND! Everyone helps everyone else out. What's the big deal? You're still a free human being. And I've also noticed that anarchy bears a similar resemblance to Communism. They're on opposite ends of the political spectrum, but I think the continuum ends up becoming a paradox. It's not a line, but a circle. Hmmm indeed.

Apathy And Sorrow.

I can't seem to focus anymore. I've become more apathetic that usual. I am a senior; perhaps that is one reason. But it's not an excuse. Perhaps I have brain damage. Perhaps I have a learning disability, although I doubt it. Perhaps my body and my brain know something I don't, like, maybe I'm going to die soon. Perhaps I have cancer. There are numerous possibilities. But I'm tired of not caring. About myself, about other people. This isn't me. I want ME back. Even though life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself, this isn't the person I wanted to create. I want to be compassionate, caring, trustworthy, and respectable. I can't go on in this life being a selfish bitch. I've worked too hard to end up like that. Maybe I need help. I've already sought help, and it has been effective to some degree. But I feel like I need something more than CBT. It's a useful tool, but it's only a "band-aid" over the problem. Band-aids, bad. Cure, GOOD.

Random SHIT.

Toby punched an earwig today. In the kitchen at his house, he crouched down, yelled "HYAAAA!" and punched that muthafuckin earwig in the FACE. He extended his fist, and bitch slapped that ho. It made me laugh, suuuuuper hard. And I am not entirely sure why. :/

ANYWHOSIT, I've never quite understood what I've found so amusing about farts. Whenever someone flatulates, rips one, whatever you want to call it, I can't stop laughing. I'm a hysterical hyena. Something inside me is amused. It's certainly not the smell that is so appealing to me, but possibly the unrelenting noise that happens. I feel bad for admitting to that, but it had to come out.

Event. (s)

SO...
This Saturday. At my house. at 3:00. Is a bonfire. Please bring food. And any gaming system that you want. OH! And games. Let me know if you need directions, or if you need a ride. It ends whenever people decide to leave. :)
Please come. :) :) :) :)

Oh, Jesus. You've provided me with hours upon hours of entertainment. And I'm still not certain if you exist.

This made me laugh. Mostly because of how offensive it is to the Christian population. Sometimes, being offensive is FUN.

Today.

Today, I decided to hang out with Buddie. He has a habit of making situations awkward that weren't meant to be awkward. And, he tends to be a social retard. We were about to walk in to Dairy Queen to wait for my boyfriend, Toby, and he said, "Wow, there's a lot of people in there." He seemed anxious to go in there, but I made him suck it up and go in anyway. Then, he made me stand in line with him because he was "too shy" to stand by himself. I love him as a dear friend, and I understand everyone has issues. But I'm just expressing my frustration. I'm sure I do some things every once in a while that annoy him. But it was good to see him today.
Senior project seems to be consuming the rest of my time, and my pursuit of finding a job. I'm 17, I have lots of work experience, how hard could it be? Turning in my resume' and making a follow-up call just doesn't seem to be enough for employers. I've done every thing I can, I guess.

Family, Or Lack Thereof.

Getting quite sick of this family I have. My grandmother, who lives next door, comes over to our house EVERY SINGLE MORNING and talks to my mom for an hour about random shit she saw on TV. That's all my grandma seems to do anymore; watch TV. My mom and I have talked about it, too. We both don't like it when my grandma comes over, sometimes we just want to be alone, you know? But every day, without fail, there she is. Sometimes when my mom gets off of work, and she just wants to relax and eat dinner, grandma decides to stop in for a visit. And she talks about stuff that neither of us care about.
Maybe my grandma's lonely. Grandpa doesn't seem to do much else than play Solitaire on the computer. What happened? I used to enjoy spending time with them, now they are just another burden to me. We used to go on camping trips, go shopping, go see movies, travel... now all they're concerned about is selling their house and moving into town.
And my mother. And my brother. I'm sick of seeing them every day. And I'm sick of my brother stealing money from me, the stingy bastard. Get a fucking job. I earn my money, you spent all yours on food and toys that are meant for four-year-old boys. My mom still won't let me drive. She won't forgive me, she won't move on. She doesn't think I have learned my lesson. I'm so damn tired of being oppressed by my family, they are the least valuable thing to me. That may sound horrible, but I have always been the black sheep of my family. Always been different, looked down upon. I think it's time to detach myself from all of them, and find better people that I connect with.

After High School.

Things I want to do after high school:

-Attend college.
-Travel the world, see different cultures.
-Find something greater than myself.
-Meet new people that I will fall in love with; make life long friends.
-Make money that is my own.
-Discover my soul.
-Not care what anybody thinks.
-Be an advocate for something of importance (to me, at least).
-Share the love I have.
-Find my calling.
-Be famous, but in a good way. Make a difference in the world for the better.
-Be a good influence.
-Run six days a week.
-Get healthier.
-Find a supportive group of people that love me unconditionally.

Most of these things I would do now, but I don't have much time for them. After graduation, I will have MUCH more time to do what I please.

First Blog Everrrr.

I have decided to start a blog, mainly as a way to organize my thoughts. There is a lot that goes on in this brain of mine, and in order for me to be sane, or at least able to function normally in society, putting a method to my madness might be effective. Most of what I blog about will be of the following:

1. Observances of every day life.
2. Sex, drugs, and other ways people find the perception of happiness.
   
3. Things I find amusing. Especially about people.
4. Short stories or song lyrics or poems I write.
5. Venting from my brain.
6. Controversial or radical statements that make people think.

That about covers it, really. I'm not extremely creative, so I wouldn't expect anything too profound to come from this blog. But please, if you may, read it. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. :)