Dear Lord What Happened.

It's been way over a month since I have posted a blog, and I feel a little guilty about that. I used to post them twice a day, and then... nothing.

Lately, I've been disappointing all those around me. My land lady, my mother, my boyfriend, myself. I've done things that I thought I would never do, or I promised to others I would never do. I've consumed mass amounts of alcohol. I've smoked a shit load of weed. I've had various men come over to my house just so I could get some company.

I was hoping my relationship with my mom would steadily improve, hopefully to the point where she would have no reason to be concerned about me, but just the opposite has happened. Now more than ever she has all the reason in the world to worry about me.

Why did I let this happen to me? I was starting over. I was improving myself, my life, and my situation. How did I get into this mess I am in? Why aren't I able to control my urges? Why do I so easily give into temptation?