Lullaby Of Lost Love.

This is my farewell.
To something great, to something profound, to something wonderful, to something unforgettable.
Something I searched for, longed for, needed.
It would have been forever.
But now, reluctantly, I am eager to rid myself of it.
Now is the time to be true.
To myself, to you, to what could have been.
Time to forget, time to rid my body of these memories.
They clung to me like rain.
This love,
So deep, so strong, so lasting, so mutual,
Now can no longer be.
Yes, it was love.
Of that I am sure.
What else could make my heart sink,
Make me forget I was human,
Make me cry out in agony,
Make me scream for more.
Bliss.
Like water poured onto my hand,
It fell away.
Oh, how I miss it.
But never will I feel shameful again.
Guilty.
Lustful.
A burden, removed from my heart.
It bears no meaning to me anymore.
Goodbye, by dear,
My lover, my friend.
The best part of my life, gone.

Lucky.

I want that tattoo. SO badly.

Two words: In Love.


This man. Drives me mad. If he weren't so damn popular, I'd marry him. <3

Well... Ahem.

1. I feel like I can't be inspired anymore. I often find that when I am depressed, some of the most intriguing things come into my head. Like, I can only be creative if I want to die. How the hell does that make sense? Is this my body's way of saying that if I'm going to be successful in this world I can't ever be happy? What the fuck. I just can't win, can't I? But I also can't make progress by complaining, either. But happiness is something that every human being is entitled to, whether we want it or not. And believe me, I want it. But I also want to keep my creative abilities.

2. Big butt. No tits. Weird shaped fingers. Slut. Hairy. Fucked up in the head. Misunderstood. Melodramatic. Or so I've been told...

3. I want to amount to something greater than I am. When I see famous people, people that have it made, people that DO things with their live, I am filled to the brim with envy. I want to be better than a shitty, sheltered girl from a hick town in the middle of Washington state. I want to impact the world. And I plan on doing it. But in order to make a difference in this world, a person needs two things: Courage, and lots and lots and lots of money, neither of which I have. Acquiring the courage will be the easier of the two, I think. After I die, I want to be known for something good. I want to make people think. I want to be selfless. I want to show people how unique I am. I want to put aside all my prejudices and see the world as it is. Explore. Discover. Masturbate. (JK). Life is what you make of it. Yes, life hands you shit. You can either smear that shit all over yourself, and wallow in self-pity, or you can show that shit who's boss. Take opportunities as they come, and learn your lessons.

4. And that's all I have to say about that.

A Little Nuisance Called Pride.

PRIDE
(noun)

1.

a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

2.

the state or feeling of being proud.

3.

a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.

4.

pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.
5.
a song by U2.
6. something that can hinder trust and responsibility in a relationship, especially with a boyfriend.
7.
feeling the need to live up to an image, and not willing to let others spend money on you because of your ego. Your big, fat, juicy ego.
8.
letting success go to your head; letting failure go to your heart.