Drifting, Falling. Floating Weightless.

Why?
I put you through so much shit. I hated you. I pushed you away. I made you miserable. I was miserable. I treated you horribly. I was a crazy, psychotic bitch. I disregarded and invalidated your emotions. I said I didn't love you. But still, you were loyal to me. You were faithful. You didn't give up.
Why?

Invincible.

I have come to the point where I think I am immune to unhappiness. I've had that belief for a while. But what snaps me back to reality is that when something bad happens, my initial reaction is to be sad. I would like to believe that I have control over how I react to situations, and that my emotions are my own. I would like to believe that I can choose what my mood will be, but I have seen that this doesn't usually happen anymore. Why is that? I used to be so strong. But now I can't even make myself feel better. Damn.