Apathy And Sorrow.

I can't seem to focus anymore. I've become more apathetic that usual. I am a senior; perhaps that is one reason. But it's not an excuse. Perhaps I have brain damage. Perhaps I have a learning disability, although I doubt it. Perhaps my body and my brain know something I don't, like, maybe I'm going to die soon. Perhaps I have cancer. There are numerous possibilities. But I'm tired of not caring. About myself, about other people. This isn't me. I want ME back. Even though life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself, this isn't the person I wanted to create. I want to be compassionate, caring, trustworthy, and respectable. I can't go on in this life being a selfish bitch. I've worked too hard to end up like that. Maybe I need help. I've already sought help, and it has been effective to some degree. But I feel like I need something more than CBT. It's a useful tool, but it's only a "band-aid" over the problem. Band-aids, bad. Cure, GOOD.